I talked to a family member the other day and she asked me, "did you know that Ron was going to die? Because I didn't. I thought he was going to make it." I said I feared he would die, but then I added, "but there is *always* hope."
Our family was still reeling from the very sudden lung cancer diagnosis and then death of my cousin Lori Oddson when Ron became ill. And this won't be the last time cancer haunts someone we know and love.
I belong to a listserv called
BrainTMR - about 800 people who share one thing in common - a brain tumour diagnosis. There are parents, wives, friends, children, sisters - all there because they, or a loved one, has a brain tumour. There are caregivers, survivors, there are widows and widowers, grieving parents and children and siblings and friends... and lots of people who have interrupted their lives and devoted time and patience to helping others walk this road. There are even doctors who spend countless volunteer hours providing information. The list is run by The Healing Exchange BrainTrust.
I have "met" the most amazing people on this list.
Here is the story of one couple, Kris and Tom McAlvanah. Tom is a lawyer and they live in Zephyrhills, Florida. When I first joined the list right after Ron's diagnosis with glioblastoma, I shared Tom's story with Ron. Tom is a successful lawyer, the city solicitor, and he went back to work two weeks after his craniotomy - he was still living and loving long after most people told him he'd be dead.
Ron and Tom, both 57 years old. Tom's wife Kris and I are the same age. Finding and sharing the experiences of someone who had survived this tumour well past the six-month median was important for both of us. Tom was one who helped Ron and I find hope.
I was devastated along with the rest of the list to learn of Tom's recurrence a few weeks ago. The day Kris posted to say that Tom had decided to reject further treatment and they were calling in Hospice, I cried for them, for all of us. I raged. I lit a candle and cried some more.
But, there is always hope. Two weeks later there was an email from Kris - "Tom's Miracle!!" Read about it in an article in their local paper, below.
Who knows how much time Tom has? I don't. You don't. None of us do. Remember this when cancer casts its dark shadow across the life of someone you love. There is always hope. -- Jodine
Couple Thankful For Recovery - from Tampa Bay Online
By JAYMI FREIDEN jfreiden@tampatrib.com
Published: Nov 27, 2003
"ZEPHYRHILLS - Three weeks ago, Kris McAlvanah shopped for a cemetery plot for her husband. Today, as she sits down to Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, she will be thanking God for a miracle. In October, City Attorney Tom McAlvanah was given three months to live. A recently removed brain tumor had grown back, and doctors feared the worst. But after intensive treatment, a brain scan showed no measurable cancer, much to the surprise of his family and his doctors.... "
