Ron Graham Update
Trust Fund/donations - although Ron and I had time to talk and begin to prepare for his death, we didn't expect it to come so soon and now that his obituary has appeared I am scrambling to set up a donation mechanism for Jenny and Angus's trust fund, and also to appropriately direct donations to brain tumour research and to re-establishing Edmonton's donor human milk bank.
More information will be posted here shortly. Thanks, -- Jodine
Ron's obituary is in the Journal this morning:
Obituaries (07/24/03)
GRAHAM, Ronald Charles
We tell you with sadness that Ron Graham, wordsmith, devoted husband, father, friend, pundit, critic, champion, and unwavering advocate for his life's passions has died, of brain cancer at age 57.
Ron's sudden departure is mourned by his soul mate and wife Jodine Chase; his mother, Jean Graham; his aunt Myrtle; his brothers, Glenn (Marie), Rob, Mike (Suzanne); his beloved children, Angus, Jennifer, Morgan, Rose, Kevin (Erin), Stephen and Kevin and Stephen's mother, Peg; his nephews, Jacob and Andre and all their friends and families; along with legions of his good, good friends, especially the FLOCK. Making the journey ahead of Ron were his grandparents, Margaret and William Thomson; and his father, Randy Graham.
Ron was born in Port Alice, B.C. on the west coast of British Columbia. He remembered with great fondness his early years in Vancouver with his mother, grandparents and aunt and uncle. Ron introduced his family to the west coast as captain of the "Astrabelle" and then the "Gumption", his Monk Troller.
Ron and his mother and father and brothers traveled Canada and abroad as a military family, living in Cold Lake, Winnipeg, California, St. Boniface, France, Germany, and Ottawa. Ron was a graduate of York University with a degree in political science and history.
Ron was the founding editor of the Excalibur, York University's student newspaper. This early work led to a position in public relations with Great West Life in Winnipeg. Ron then went on to a career in advertising, journalism, news analysis and punditry here in Edmonton. First with the City of Edmonton, then as a freelancer, with Palmer Jarvis, and as creative director for Weber Shandwick, he guided and created many documentaries and pr and advertising campaigns and television series "Discovery Digest."
Ron was honoured to receive the recognition of his peers through two IABC Gold Quill Awards, two AMPIA awards, and many awards and recognitions from the Advertising Club of Edmonton. He was a partner with his wife in Chase Media Monitoring and MediaWorks West. He was active in politics and he indulged his passion for commentary with CBC and in newspaper columns in the Edmonton Examiner and the Edmonton Sun.
First and always Ron was a writer, a man who loved ideas, who had his own ideas, who had the gift of eloquence and passion, and who lived well, loved well, and shared well his big heart and his fine, fine mind. His goal was always to learn, to teach, to clarify and to expound, to provoke to action - to pique. Ron was an admirer and student of Nietzsche, Gershwin, John Stuart Mill, Eric Hoffer, Dorothy Parker, Michael Curtiz and Frank Capra, of Fred Astair, David Ogilvy, H.L. Mencken, Tom Bodett, Dr. Seuss and Ella Fitzgerald.
Ron was devoted to liberal democracy and the sanctity of the individual, and these principles guided his life. He believed that you cannot love a child too much. He poured his love into his family, and we are sustained by this.
Ron Graham: good man, good husband, good father, good friend -- goodbye.
A Memorial Service and remembrance of Ron's life will be held Saturday, July 26 at Riverdale Community Hall, 9231 - 100 Avenue, at 2:00 p.m. A reception will follow. Please dress for comfort and celebration. Children are welcome. There is a trust fund for Ron's youngest children, Jenny and Angus, care of Capital City Savings. More information can be found at http://www.rongraham.blogspot.com
Donations can also be made to brain tumour research at the University of Alberta Hospital, or to a fund for the reestablishment of Edmonton's Human Milk Donor bank, care of Breastfeeding Action Committee of Edmonton http://www.edmontonbreastfeeds.org Foster & McGarvey Limited, Funeral Directors and Licensed Crematorium, 428-6666. Owned & operated by the McGarvey Family since 1929.
The house is full of people, flowers, food, cards, laughter, memories, and life.
Jenny and Angus - evryone asks how they are doing - are so young, they still mostly go about their day with their play puncuated by moments of sadness, confusion, and a child's version of denial. "Mom, is Daddy dead?" was Jenny's question of the day. All day long Rose and Morgan's friends came to visit and give their support. They stayed to help and it was good to have such vibrant young people in the house. Our friends brought their children to keep Jenny and Angus company.
Ron left us as he was being loaded into the ambulance - he stopped breathing and his heart slowed, and then stopped. EMS workers kept him breathing and kept his blood flowing with CPR while he was transported to hospital but they were unable to revive him, although they tried, as was his wish. Ron wasn't ready to go, he still wanted to fight. So there it was, in the end, he was gone and his only his body remained.
Hospital workers left me to be with him, and soon Morgan and my mom, and Jenny and Angus, and then Rose arrived. We called Ron's son Kevin, and Kevin talked to Stephen in Taiwan. One by one we went into the room where he lay still to say goodbye.
Jenny was adamant "I want to see him." Angus was a little afraid, but he was able to touch Ron's arm and say goodbye. I think the hospital workers were a little concerned about our desire to say goodbye in this way, but it was such a confusing and desperate time at the house as he struggled to breath and for the little ones, their dad had twice disappeared from the house, only to reappear smiling at them from a hospital bed.
This time he was still, as if asleep, on the bed. The little ones noticed right away that his hands and arms and face had cooled. Jenny gave him a little hug. Morgan sat with him for a while while I helped Jenny and Angus and Rose visit with his body.
We talked about how his heart and mind were gone from his body, and that we hold his heart and mind in our hearts and minds.
I spent some minutes alone with him.
It was sad, but peaceful.
Kevin arrives from Calgary today and Stephen will be here tomorrow, and they will also have a chance to say goodbye before his cremation. Then there will be a memorial, and later a wake.
Ron's newspaper, the Edmonton Sun, has written a tribute article to Ron,
"Sun columnist Graham battled to the finish"
-- Jodine
Ron left us today, suddenly, with almost no warning. He had a fine evening and a lovely supper.
Then he started to have some trouble breathing, and it scared him and he started hyperventilating. He relaxed some but it started again and so we
called 911. He stopped breathing while being loaded into the ambulance, and the his heart stopped and wouldn't start again.
Although he was weak in body, his fine mind was still as strong as ever right to the end.
Our visit to the hospital today confirmed that it was tumour causing his increased weakness and not shunt failure. We discussed going back on decadron to help him feel better and stronger but he didn't want to risk the vaccine trial not working (the decadron would weaken his immune system and blunt the expected response of the vaccine). Ron said, "What's's a few days compared with a lifetime?" He has always believed strongly in this type of cancer therapy; tailored vaccine treatment that targets each individual tumour cell.
We came home, had a peaceful evening, a later supper with the little kids, talked a bit about the trip on the boat next week, and then, before any of us expected it, Ron's journey was over.
I'll post funeral details soon.
Thanks so much for all your support and love.
-- Jodine
My condition overall has noticably deteriourated in recent days. That is to say, I am very weak. I'm easily winded by any little exertion. Even little trips around the house, to the bathroom, and so on, are major expeditions. I will probably need some help on a regular basis from someone.
I am going for a CT scan in the next day to get more updates on my condition to see if improvements can be made. It could be my shunt failing, or it could be more swelling of the tumour.
Jodine and I are hoping to make it to Vancouver on Tuesday next week to visit my brother Rob and his family. Don't count on family picnics involving races, though!
I put another
column up today in my healthcare series, on hospital food. I've written another that will appear a few weeks from now on having medicare cover pharmaceuticals.
That's all for today,
-- Ron
